Top 6 ways we can support our athletes!
Earlier we talked about burnout and how to recognize some of the signs associated with burnout and fatigue. We saw how this condition can be somewhat sneaky as it may be confused with other less detrimental conditions and is usually caused by prolonged and sustained exposure and engagement to certain conditions and behaviors.
As parents, we’ve all been there cheering and rooting for our kids. Who can deny that proud parental feeling when you see your offspring doing well in whatever sport or activity they’re engaged in? Of course! We see the potential, we see their happiness, we want them to succeed. We want them to do well. We want them to win. We want all the wants! However, sometimes in the process of wanting to give them everything; every opportunity, every training, all the gear, etc., it may not necessarily pan out as we’d hoped. Parental involvement is crucial for burnout prevention and in return, parental burnout as well (1).
Here are 6 ways to support our young athletes on their journey and help prevent burnout:
1. Set a realistic schedule: Practice schedules, games, tournaments, school and work deadlines. These are all very demanding not only for the athletes but also for their support system and require time and effort to find that balance between family time, sports commitments, and work (parents) (2). Especially when a lot of these things take place during the weekend when we would like to relax and reboot. As a parent of a child decathlete (yep, 10 track & field events!) I am quite familiar with schedule overload (It was nice when he was able to drive himself to some of these). As you may know, we have little to no control over most of their athletic and academic schedules, but we can try and control or improve what we can.
One thing we found most effective was the use of a dry-erase board in the room to keep track of their chores, practices, assignments, games, etc. This was combined with a “points” or rewards system. They would have to check off / complete the chores or assignments on the board and at the end of the week they were rewarded. Rewards could be picking the family movie for the week, deciding what we would make for dinner, maybe going out, or as simple as going for chips, salsa, or ice cream.
Now as they got older and became “too cool for school” and with the current smartphone availability, we used to Google tasks or Microsoft to-do list apps. These work great since they can sync all their pending tasks directly into their calendar and set up reminders and alarms to help them stay on top of their deadlines and commitments. You can also share the calendar and be able to plan your week or day accordingly. One way to help relieve some of the parental stress is to use the Eisenhower Matrix. This tool may help alleviate the decision-making burden and allow for an improved daily schedule burden (3).
2. Open communications: Stay engaged and check in with them regularly. This can become more and more challenging as they grow older and into their teenage years. However, do not despair. Make sure they feel that they can still reach out to you with any concerns. If you are too involved, they may resent you; they may be micro-managed and robbed of their autonomy. Whereas, if you are under-involved, they may feel neglected and unsupported (4).
One thing that helped immensely with our boys was to make a day about them. No agenda, no lecturing, no nothing. We call it “guys’ day” (girls' day or whatever you want to call it depending on your specific situation). It would be a day where we would spend most of the day together. We would have guys' day with all 3 of us “boys” and other days where we would spend the entire day with just one of our sons at a time. This not only allows them (and us!) some rest from all the activities, but it would make our bond stronger. It would allow them to relax, open up, and share their frustrations and thus give us a chance to figure out where and how to better help them move forward. Plus, mom also got some much-needed me-time. I call that a win-win. Another way was to simply take one child each on two different days and spend time individually doing something they would like to do (and that we could keep up with at least for the most part). If you have more than two then some simple math might be required but the concept still applies.
3. Focus on the effort over the results: This is particularly challenging when they have hit a snag and they are falling short of their desired performance, or if they are performing but their team (if taking part in a team sport) is not doing as well as they would like. Now, to be completely honest, as far as I know, no one likes to lose (I surely don't!), especially if you are a competitive or elite-caliber athlete. Something that helped us shift our focus was the quote:
“As you move through your life as a champion, remember it isn’t about winning or losing. Just because you win a lot doesn’t mean you’ll never be defeated, and just because you lose a lot doesn’t mean you’ll never win. It isn’t about results or a scorecard. It is about the champion's heart and mindset. It isn’t about talent, but determination, and it isn’t about winning, but about showing up, again and again and again to keep doing your very best."-Scott Allan.
This was particularly challenging as their emotions continued to ebb and flow during their early years. I am sure that you have tried to encourage them after a loss only to have them blow back on you. Or, you tried to point out some possible areas of improvement only to have them blow back on you as well. Other times, we tried to not say much at all and still fell short.
The one thing we found worked best was to be short, and direct and keep the line open until they were ready. Just leading them with questions and allowing them to channel their frustration (within the acceptable parameters of destruction and social behavior of course) until they were able to focus on the next step after their most recent performance or results. Let’s continue to focus on progress and their ongoing improvement process.
4. Allow for plentiful rest: This is also challenging when you have highly engaged offspring (my mother loves this word). It might be tough to reel them in and have them take a break from their chosen sport, but adequate rest is not only recommended but also critical for their well-being and development (5). This is also critical to avoid potential overuse injuries that may hinder their performance as they do not allow their bodies to rest and recover. The recommended sleep amounts for young athletes (6):
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- Children (6-12 years): 9-11 hours per night
- Teenagers (13-18 years): 8-10 hours per night
Now, I am aware of the current challenges that social media, mobile phones, tablets, etc. present to everyday parents. Bedtime is not necessarily sleeping time anymore, is it? If you have younger children who are yet to enjoy the privileges of having a mobile phone, then you still have a little more control over their bedtime activities.
However, if they do have a mobile device of any kind with internet access and they are older you know this can become a bit daunting. Late-night “chats”, Instagram posts, Snapchat (is that still a thing?), TikTok and the likes. The list goes on. If you are in that situation, there are ways to reduce internet use. Depending on your service provider, and your plan, you might have access to an internet limiting feature that allows you to disable internet access after a certain time. This was quite helpful as we would set usage limits until 10 pm thus no more “chatty chats” or calls after that time. Voila! Usage capabilities were set to resume after 8 am. The Google Family Link app was also helpful in monitoring their usage and activity as it allowed them to limit their screen time, filter content, and monitor online time expenditure. You can choose the one that fits your needs. You can check out some of them here.
5. Allow for variety: Variety is the spice of life! Well, when it comes to sports activities, this one is particularly important but routinely overlooked, or its importance is consistently underestimated. Focusing on a single sport and single sport activities, although necessary for skill improvement and performance development, can also be detrimental in the long run. While this might become more beneficial in older (late teens) athletes, younger athletes are still developing their motor skills. This places them at a higher risk for overuse injuries and as mentioned earlier, burnout. This has proven to be true both personally and professionally. Our youngest child experienced the most recurring injuries when he decided to play soccer all year round and not take a break. Previously, he would participate in other sports once the season was over, for example, gymnastics, swimming, basketball, track and field, obstacle courses, and martial arts. What we noted is that he was always stronger and more eager to return to the field than when we allowed him to continue to relentlessly continue to play soccer through all the season iterations. The same was also true with our oldest in track and field.
The recurring injuries made matters worse as their performance was not according to their expectations. In our personal experience, I found it optimal to have them participate in another activity that complemented their primary sports interest. We noticed they looked forward to this break in their routine as they were able to go and meet new friends and face the challenge of the new activity while allowing for long-term enjoyment and injury-free. This variability will help them to further develop a wider range of skills and movements.
6. Focus on still making it fun: The fun factor is probably the primary reason why they do what they do in the first place. I know I did, and you probably did or still do. I know as parents we want to fan that flame; push them, support them, and help them to be the best they can be as well as give them the best opportunities that we may be capable of providing for them. Nevertheless, sometimes along the way we might lose focus on why we do it and the sport that we once loved can become more of a chore or an obligation, if not, an expectation. I know I am guilty as charged. The reality check came one day after a weekend outing with my youngest son where we just spent time together at the local mall and had dinner after a heated soccer match. As we get in the car he says” This is all I wanted. I wanted my dad back, to have fun and talk. No lessons, no commentary, just you and I having fun. This is nice.” Cue the guilty father's music. Ugh! We talked about it on our ride home and as I came to realize, although he came to appreciate all the advice, training, and constructive criticism, he felt that the game was now becoming more of a serious proposition and thus less enjoyable and fun.
Through this forced epiphany came the realization that my competitive nature had taken over and reflected on my sons. In the end, we were able to figure out how to keep it fun and simply ask them what they needed from us to support them.
That significantly opened the doors for improved communication, and they were able to enjoy the game for what it was, a game or sport. They learned, and continue to learn, how to extract the lessons from their less-than-ideal performances while still having fun doing it. I am happy to say that to this day, both are doing fine and still having fun doing their chosen sport; one as a D1 decathlete and the other as a youth soccer player in Spain.
I surely hope that these hard-learned lessons are useful to you and yours along your journey. Please let us know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, recommendations, or simply would like to participate in our community.
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Until next time!
Gaspar
ACTOS, Performance Innovation
Dr. Gaspar A. Rosario is a seasoned healthcare expert with a Doctorate in Health Sciences and over a decade of clinical experience. His certifications in Weight Management, Performance Enhancement, and Exercise Therapy from the ISSA, coupled with his diverse medical background, position him as a trusted authority in the field.
References
- How to Avoid Burnout in Youth Athletes | Ochsner Health. https://blog.ochsner.org/articles/how-to-avoid-burnout-in-youth-athletes.
- Helping Young Athletes Avoid Burnout, Injuries | CHKD Blog. https://www.chkd.org/Blog/Helping-Young-Athletes-Avoid-Burnout,-Injuries/.
- How to avoid burnout in young athletes - Dayton Children's Hospital. https://www.childrensdayton.org/the-hub/how-avoid-burnout-young-athletes
- The Parent-Child Relationship and Sports Parents Experiences of Burnout .... https://cehs.usu.edu/families-in-sport-lab/files/publications/youth-sport/publication-9.pdf.
- Sleep your way to better athletic performance. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/sleep-and-athletic-performance#:~:text=Sleep%20provides%20your%20body%20time,less%20likely%20to%20be%20injured.
- Sleep for health and sports performance.
https://www.childrensmercy.org/parent-ish/2022/11/sports-sleep/